Thomas released - Eckstein to bat clean-up

TORONTO - Blue Jays DH, Frank Thomas, was released early yesterday morning, one day after voicing his displeasure over being benched by Jays manager John Gibbons. Team officials stated that this was a mutual decision between the future Hall of Fame slugger and management. Thomas was off to a slow start this season, with a batting average of only .167. Following Sunday's game against the Detroit Tigers, team officials announced that SS David Eckstein would be moved into Thomas' slot in the heart of the batting order. Eckstein was the obvious choice for the position after his 2 for 4 performance in the game, which included 2 runs scored and a 3-run homerun.

Big Hurt moved to bench

TORONTO - Thomas was initially upset with the development, but appeased

soon after when Jays management revealed that they had purchased the

"sometimes-slugger" his own LazyBoy recliner for the dugout. Toronto GM,

JP Riccardi, further helped soothe tensions by offering the .167 hitting DH

his very own anal massager (AssRelax2000).

David Purcey has sick, wicked & nasty pits

Lemur eats Hillenbrand's baby

for additional details, check out the Mockingbird:
http://bjays.wordpress.com/2008/04/18/dont-laugh-2/

Anatomy of a foulball

#1 - AIIIIIEEEEE! A BALL!! HELLLLLLLP!

#2 - You're so happy, I almost feel sorry making fun of you.

#3 - You're a grown man, and brought a glove to the game. Then didn't even have it on your hand when the ball was hit in your direction. Then must have tried to quickly get the glove on as the ball approached. Then flubbed the catch like the limpwristed pansy you are. Hmmmm. That didn't feel bad at all.

#4 - Seriously dude, you have a cellphone in one hand and a beer in the other. Why are you even trying to catch a foulball? Oh well. At least you chose the correct hand to make your attempt with. Protect the beer. Protect the beer at all times.

#5 - Seriously. What the hell is that? Anyone?

Full of Grit

Roy Halladay is a .500 pitcher

no harm, no foul

Home Opener: Fans on the Field

Home Opener: Fighting Fans

John & Don

Designated Hitter: Frank Thomas

Alex Rodriguez

Hudson

Lindros?

Starting Pitcher?: Gustavo Chacin

Starting Pitcher?: Jesse Litsch

Starting Pitcher?: Casey Janssen

Starting Pitcher: Shaun Marcum

Starting Pitcher: Dustin McGowan

Starting Pitcher: A.J. Burnett

Starting Pitcher: Roy Halladay

Center Field: Vernon Wells

Left Field: Matt Stairs / Reed Johnson

Right Field: Alex Rios